The boys loved Christmas. Everything from Christmas trees to opening gifts, they had a great Christmas season.
We have tried to take the boys to the park at least twice a week, weather permitting. They get so excited when they see us drive up to the park.
Their brother bond has really been developing lately. They go from best buds to tackling each other in 2 seconds.
Declan ate his first Gibson donut. He loved it.
Declan had his tonsils and adenoids removed. Little guy did so well.
Miller got tubes put in his ears and his adenoids removed. After going to the doctor every week for almost 3 months straight for ear infections, it was time.
On the cold or rainy days, we spent some time at the local rec center. The boys especially love playing basketball.
We have been flying kites. Huge hit with Declan and Miller. And no, that hello kitty kite is not theirs. Ha. A sweet lady at the park let them borrow her kite. We have since bought them much more masculine kites.
After a ridiculous wardrobe malfunction involving the worst explosive diaper I have ever seen and necessary outfit changes for everyone, we celebrated our risen King on Easter.
Miller wound up in the ER after attempting to dive off the couch, head first, onto tile floor. Little man was ok. Mama was scared out of her mind. I suppose this was a rite of passage for a boy mom.
I can't believe we are already 10 days into 2015. Crazy. I don't usually make New Years resolutions but I did this year. Here goes.
1. Dress better. As a stay-at-home mom to two toddlers, most days I'm in yoga pants and a t-shirt. That's fine and practical for being around the house, but I'm making an effort to look more put together when we go out. Nothing too fancy, just classy and put together. So far, I've only worn yoga pants outside the home once and that was taking the kiddos to the doctor running on less than 2 hours of sleep.
2. Let me hair grow out. I got my hair chopped off around this time last year. Although I loved the stacked bob, and it definitely forced me to style my hair every day since I couldn't pull it in a ponytail, I'm ready for a change. My hair is now just past my collarbone and getting to the awkward length where I'm itching to cut it again. But I've come this far....
3. Work out. Ha. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not athletic in any way, shape, or form. I hate running. I despise playing sports. I've always struggled with working out, but I need to get in shape. Just because I'm pretty thin does not mean I'm in shape. Hubby and I joined the local rec center a couple of months ago and have been going regularly. They have a great childcare center that D and M love, so everyone loves going. Hubby has been helping me with weights. The first day was embarrassing. I bench pressed the bar. And that's it. Just the bar. I've slowly worked my way up. And also found that cycling on the stationary bike things is enjoyable for me.
4. More date nights with Thomas. We rarely do date nights. We have family here and two babysitters that we love, so really there's no excuse. I think most of the time we are just exhausted and crash on the couch and watch TV. That's fine sometimes, but I think it's important for Thomas and I to do more things, just the two of us.
So, there are my resolutions for 2015. I could list plenty more about keeping up with laundry better, getting more sleep when I can, reading more books, etc, etc... But I have also decided that I need to give myself a little more grace. I can't do it all. And when I try to, I get frazzled and stressed. I'm a better mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend when I'm not stressed and worried about petty things.
I must have sat down a dozen times to update this blog on our life lately, but it just never ended up happening. To say life with 2 littles is busy is an understatement. Don't get me wrong, this is such a fun age, (Two toddlers? They say and do hilarious things all the time), but it's hard. Most of my time is spent refereeing them when fights break out over toys (Declan thinks that he is the owner of ALL toys), keeping Miller from flinging himself off the couch (the boy CLlMBS all. the. time. on. everything.), and doing an insane amount of dishes and laundry (boys eat a lot and are ROUGH on their clothes... Thank goodness for Oxiclean). This all leaves little time for blogging, but here is the last month in a nutshell...
Halloween. My sweet little firefighter and dalmatian puppy. This was before.... before the madness. About 4 houses in, Miller (my easy, breezy happy baby) lost his marbles. He started screaming like a banshee, somehow escaped from the stroller and slid onto the sidewalk, and threw an epic tantrum so bad I could hardly carry him due to him flinging himself around so much. We made it to only 4 houses and of those 4, only 2 opened their door so my hopes for a good candy stash were a bust.
Maybe next year. Then again, he will be 2 years old then so it could be even worse.
One major success for the month was taking them to the children's museum. They loved it and we spent hours watching them play. The grocery store was a huge hit. Interestingly enough, Declan's cart was full of veggies which he will not touch in real life. Miller was only interested in fabric softener bottles for his cart.
Nothing sweeter than a little boy in precious smocked outfits. I'm a sucker for smocking but it is usually way too expensive to justify not just one, but two, outfits. Zulily has had a ton of smocked outfits for super cheap so I went on a little shopping spree.
Love their sweet turkey outfits and cannot wait to put them in the Christmas outfits I bought them!
Last week Miller had strep throat, an ear infection, and bronchitis so he stayed home from MDO and spent some one-on-one time with me. I enjoyed the quality time with little man, just wish he had felt better!
Thomas has been getting tutoring every week for a math class (yuck, math) at Barnes and Noble so we usually go along with him. I treat the boys to a cookie from Starbucks (and coffee for mommy!) and we attend story time. Miller is still a little young for this, but Declan loves it. They read a book and then do a craft.
After Miller got sick, I got a little cold too. One benefit of me being super stingy with Declan using the iPad (as in, he has used it 3 times since we got it) is that when I'm sick needing some rest and he has free reign on it.... Silence.
I snapped this picture of him, mesmerized by the Youtube channel Disney Collector. Literally, a woman videos herself opening toys and playing with them. Toddlers apparently are enthralled with this. Declan especially enjoys the videos about Cars toys.
So that's what we've been up to lately. Nothing super exciting! Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving!
He is such a busy boy now- always running around, exploring, and climbing on everything.
We had his 18 month checkup yesterday. He still weighs in around 22 lbs. His doctor was a little concerned that he hadn't gained any weight, but I think it's because he is so active now. If he doesn't gain some weight soon he may have to drink a Pediasure everyday so it's not a huge deal.
Everything else was great. Developmentally he is right on track. He is saying about 10-12 words now, including Mama, Dada, night night, bye, hello, all done, go, banana, etc.
He loves playing with cars, blocks, and trains.
He wears 18-24 month size clothing, size 6 shoe, and size 4 diapers. He is definitely long and lean.
His favorite foods are bananas, chicken nuggets, carrots, and spaghetti. Though there aren't many foods that he won't eat. He has a good appetite.
Sleep and naps are a mess right now but we are working on it.
He is starting to show some signs of tantrums and tries to bite us frequently. We are trying to put a stop to that. His bites hurt!
We love our sweet Miller man and enjoy his precious little personality so much!
October is easily my favorite month. The weather, the scents, the clothes... I love fall. I haven't updated the blog lately because chasing two busy toddlers all day doesn't allow for much down time.
We have been busy lately spending nice days at the park....
Playing with cars...
Running wild with a mini shopping cart. (Yes, that is a toddler safety harness (ok... it's a leash). When you have a wild toddler like Declan who likes to run off, a leash is just added security. Plus it allows him to have some freedom walking by himself, while giving me peace of mind.)
Loving on our dog, Millie...
Smiling for a rare photo opportunity for Mommy...
Playing in the play area at the mall on the rainy days...
Playing with their new 3 foot tall racetrack...
Decorating a pumpkin for Lucas...
And lighting a candle for Lucas on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day...
The busyness all started with an 8 hour road trip to visit family for a long weekend. It was good to see everyone but it was exhausting traveling with two toddlers. We had a great time though, and even got a date night out of it since we had plenty of babysitting offers.
Before we could unpack our bags, both boys get sick with upper respiratory infections. A couple of antibiotics and steroid dose pack later (holy cow! Toddler roid rage is intense!!), they were on the mend... until.... they got Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. My poor babies. Sores all over their mouths, throats, hands, face, and feet. Fevers of 103+ for days. Every time they would try to eat or drink something, they would scream in pain. Plus, Miller is cutting 2 molars. It is terrible seeing your child so miserable.
Thomas and I both ended up getting HFMD as well. I can attest that it is, indeed, a miserable disease.
Everyone seems to be feeling much better now. We are planning a low key weekend because next week will be a busy one, full of doctor appointments.
Have I ever said how much I do not like being busy? It's the introvert in me, I guess. I get overwhelmed and just want to go home and unwind.
This post isn't a normal lighthearted post, so if you're not looking to read some serious thoughts, go ahead and skip this one.
Anxiety. Something I have struggled with my entire life. I don't normally talk about it because of all the stigmas attached to anxiety, but it is part of my life. I stay up at night a lot worrying about things that are completely irrational and out of my control. Losing a child has amplified my anxiety. Lately, I have lost a lot of sleep worrying about a myriad of things. I haven't felt peace in a long time.
This week, I went grocery shopping by myself. I was about halfway through my shopping when, on the radio in the store, I hear the song I used to sing to Lucas.
"Back to Pooh Corner" was a song I grew up listening to. It was mine and Lucas' song. I never sang it to Declan or Miller, just Lucas. It was our special song. Each of my boys has a special song that I sing to only them. I think I've heard "Back to Pooh Corner" on the radio maybe once or twice in the past few years. When I heard it in the grocery store this week, I couldn't control the tears. It brought back so many memories of me singing it to him and holding his precious little hand. I quickly paid for my groceries and proceeded to walk out of the store, when I look up and see a mom walking in with identical twin boys around Miller's age.
Of course, I start crying even more and I call my mom. She said something to me that had not occurred to me before- maybe that was a little way of Luke saying hello to me. He knew twins would get my attention.
Fast forward to yesterday. Thomas and I visited a new church with friends. On the way to church, we were talking and we agreed that we need some peace and joy in our lives again. We immediately felt at home at this new church. During the service, the preacher announced the birth of- you guessed it- new identical twin boys born to someone who went to church there. And then on the big screen is a picture of a mother holding her sweet twins.
Then the preacher started talking about the song "It is Well with My Soul."
He talked about the man who wrote this beautiful song, Horacio Spafford. He was a successful lawyer with a wife and 5 children. In 1870, his son died from scarlet fever. A couple years later Horacio, his wife, and their 4 daughters planned a trip. His wife and daughters went ahead of him on the trip after last minute business plans held him back for a few days. Their ship sank and all of their daughters drowned. His wife survived. When he was on his way to be with his grieving wife, the crew of the ship asked if he would like to stop by the spot where his daughters drowned to pay his respects. That spot is where he wrote the lyrics to "It is Well with My Soul."
The preacher talked about joy and peace. To be honest, I didn't ever feel like I would know peace again. Joy was a different story. Thomas, Declan, and Miller bring me endless joy every single day. But peace, that's something I hadn't felt in ages.
I felt peace yesterday. For so long, I was feeling like God dealt me this really bad hand in life and then just forgot about me. I felt that sadness that you feel in the pit of your stomach. That pain that just doesn't go away. Here we are, 13 months later and I still feel that deep sadness and it seems like everyone else has just moved on and forgotten about my beloved little boy.
I am sure I will always struggle with anxiety and sadness. But it was nice to feel some peace yesterday and to actually feel that that sermon was meant for me to hear. I felt that God was telling me that He truly wants me to have joy and peace.
