Traveling as newlyweds

Yesterday I was feeling nostalgic and looking though pictures from when Thomas and I first got married.  Thomas was in the Army and stationed in Italy at the time so we did a lot of traveling as newlyweds.  Most of our travels were throughout Italy but we did venture to France and Monaco.

In front of the Duomo in Milan.  One of our favorite cities in Italy- great people, great food, and great shopping!

Taking some pictures in the Milan train station while waiting for our train.

On our second trip to Venice together we stayed for several days and took a romantic gondola ride.  I thought I would fall into the water getting in the gondola!  We took a tour of the Venice canals and saw Marco Polo's house, Casanova's house, the Rialto Bridge, and so much more.

Oh how I love Venice.  It's my favorite city in the whole world.  So beautiful and whimsical.  

We took our honeymoon in Nice, France.  Such a beautiful city on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea.  The views on the train ride there, along the Amalfi coast, were spectacular.

The Russian Cathedral in Nice.

Nice is just a short train ride away from Monte Carlo, Monaco so we took a trip to the Grand Casino.  Pictures don't do it justice.  It is majestic.  I wish we had gone during the day because Monte Carlo is beautiful and we didn't go anywhere other than the Grand Casino.  

One of the smaller, lesser known cities in Italy that we visited was Soave.  It is a beautiful, quaint little town located within castle walls.  We walked up the path and explored the castle.  The picture above was our view at the bottom on the path.

This picture was our view from the top of the castle.  It was very windy that day.

Another favorite trip was to Verona.  This is the city where "Romeo and Juliet" takes place.  In the picture above is where, in my opinion, the best view of the city is.  We had just gotten there after it had POURED rain.  We were soaked.

Juliet's balcony in Verona.  There's a wall on the way there where couples write their names.  Tom and I wrote our names on the wall along with thousands of couples from all over the world.  The people in the picture were smarter than us and brought umbrellas.

Tom's favorite trip was to Rome.  Rome was awesome, although I felt very overwhelmed because there is a TON to do and see there.  We hit all the big stuff- Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, Sistine Chapel, Vatican City,  and the Spanish Steps.  Also had the best pizza EVER.

Trevi Fountain.  Seriously breathtaking.  Pictures don't do it justice.  It is huge!

Now that we have kids, traveling is a bit harder and will be focused more on kid friendly trips like Disney.  Someday, though, I would love to take our boys to Italy and show them all these great places.

6 months

6 months ago today our twin boys were born, bringing so much joy to our lives.  The past 6 months have been full of joy, grieving, fear, faith, and compassion.

We certainly are not the same people we were 6 months ago.  We have learned a lot and experienced a lot. Lucas and Miller (and Declan too, of course) have made us better people.  Better parents.  As a parent, you always think of what you want to teach your children.  What is interesting and amazing is how much they teach us.

6 months ago, almost to the hour, our sweet twins entered this world.  And our hearts grew that much more.
Happy half-birthday Miller man.  Your little smile and sweetness makes my heart melt daily.

My precious Lucas, happy half-birthday baby.  I hope you're having a little birthday party in heaven.  Tell Jesus to give you lots of hugs today since Mommy can't.  We love you so much.

Nicknames

I hated my childhood nickname that my dad gave me.  I can't believe I'm even considering revealing it here.  Somewhere along the way, I was nicknamed after Betty Boop and my dad always called me Boop or Booper.  I don't hate it as much now but I dreaded when he would call me by my nickname in public.

My mom nicknamed me Lucy.  I always thought it was because I loved the show "I Love Lucy" but she said I had that nickname long before I ever watched it.

My boys have all sorts of nicknames already.  Sometimes I have to make it a point to call Declan by his actual name so that he knows that is his name.

Declan's nicknames all revolve around Boo.  I have called him Boo Boo since he was a newborn.  That led to Boo Man, Boo Monster, Boo Bear, and Boo Berry.  I'm sure he will hate these nicknames when he is older.

Miller's nicknames are Miller Man, Mills, Miller Moo, Moo Moo, and Moo Monster.  Again, I'm sure he will hate these.  He especially gets called Moo Moo a lot and it has sparked a cow theme with the little guy.  He is going to be a cow for Halloween this year if I can find a costume in his size.  If not, he will go as a cow next year.  And his next car seat is going to have a little bit of cow print on it.

I always called Lucas my little monkey because he would wrap his arms and legs around things in his isolette like a little baby monkey.  It was so precious.  We bought him a lot of monkey stuff and we are going to put it in a memory box.  I called him Luke a lot too, although I'm really the only one in the family who called him that.

I like nicknames.  I never like mine, but they're starting to grow on me the older I get.  I hope my boys eventually like their nicknames too.

A 5k and a little Glee

This past weekend Declan and I participated in a 5k benefiting the hospital where Miller and Lucas were at.

Declan, of course, looks thrilled like he does in all pictures.  I'm not sure why he NEVER smiles for pictures considering he is pretty happy and smiley the rest of the time.

3.1 miles seems shorter than it is.  I was feeling it a lot towards the last 1/2 mile or so.  Of course that was the most exercise I've done since the twins were born.  Declan got grumpy towards the end too but that was mostly related to a new tooth coming through.  He has been cutting a molar for a couple of days now.  The first night was miserable for him.  He was up every hour or so screaming and chewing on his hand.  I felt so bad for my baby.  The next night I was better prepared with ibuprofen and orajel and he slept better.

We have been recording and slowly watching our favorite TV shows when time and kiddos permit.  We love Once Upon a Time, The Voice, New Girl, Parks and Recreation, and The Big Bang Theory.  I tried to watch Glee but the last episode was too much for me.  When Finn's mom started talking about how parents go on when they've lost a child... it was too heartbreaking and hit too close to home.

Now that Declan's teething pain is better, the hubs is sick with flu like symptoms.  He started feeling pretty bad yesterday and today he stayed home from work which is very unusual for him.  I'm hoping that me and the boys don't come down with whatever Thomas has.

Here's to Lysol-ing the apartment and taking care of hubby!  And a big hello to my sister-in-law Meghan who made my day by texting me!  Miss you and your sweet family!

3 months ago

Three months ago today our lives changed forever.  It was exactly 3 months ago when Lucas went to be with Jesus.  Not a day, not even an hour, goes by that we don't think of him.

Somehow in the midst of all of this, I still believe in God's faithfulness and truth.  I can see God working in our lives and sustaining us in our most desperate hour.  I can feel the peace that surpasses all understanding.  I don't think it can truly be explained other than that, as followers of Christ, we have hope.  We will see our baby again.  I think if we didn't have that hope that we would be very lost.

I finished my 6 weeks of grief counselling last week.  It was an interesting experience.  I can't say for sure if I think it made a ton of difference, but it was nice to talk about Lucas.  And to know that the wide range of emotions I'm feeling is normal.  I would recommend grief counselling to someone going through a loss.  We are looking at joining a support group for parents going through the same thing.  I truly believe that support is critical during a time like this.  Not just the "I"m here if you need anything" stuff that people say.  I"m talking about the true, deep, unconditional support that very few people offer.

Three months.  And it feels like it was just yesterday.  The pain is still there.  The hard to breathe, hard to get out of bed, hard to cope with pain is still there.  Has the pain eased any?  Maybe in some ways.  The shock of it all has worn off.  But in some ways the pain has deepened.  The guilt has increased.  The over-analyzing every little decision we made haunts us.  Deep down I know we spent as much time as we could at the hospital.  We made every decision in his best interest.  We fought for him.  We fought for him when they told us he had very little hope.  We fought for him before he was born.  We prayed for him.  People all over the world prayed for him.

We miss him.  We love him.  We always have and always will.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Today begins October.  This is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  My prayer is that no family would ever have to feel this pain.

Praying for peace and strength for all of us on this unthinkable journey.

In memory of my sweet angel, Lucas Rolland.