Over the past few months I have stumbled across several blogs about people who have lost a child, have had babies in the NICU, sick children, or have struggled with some hardship or another. My favorite blogs to read are the ones where I see how their lives continue after facing tragedy.
Something that has been very obvious to me is that God is continuing to reveal himself to us day after day. One of the most powerful things I have read is that there is no human experience that God himself has not suffered, even losing a child (Tim Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering).
We hear over and over again how strong we are. I can truly say that it's not our strength that is getting us through this. It is the strength of our Savior. People may see that we are doing more things now and getting out more. What they don't see is us crying at night, wishing more than anything that we could hold Lucas and kiss him good-night. They don't see the scars and the pain of knowing we will never get to see that sweet boy smile or walk or go to kindergarten or get married. And we grieve for that every single moment of every single day.
It is not my strength. It is the strength of my God. I would be lost without it.
We know we want to continue to honor our son's life by doing good for other people. We know we want to share his story, the story of the bravest and strongest person I have ever known.
And that's why I continue to blog. So that, on the days when I'm finding it hard to even breathe, I can look back and see how God is sustaining us. And how our story, and Lucas' story, continues.
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