Five for Friday

1.  Thin mints.  I don't really like sweets but two things I cannot pass up are red velvet anything and thin mints.  Love.  We ordered 3 boxes which seemed like a lot at the time, but not anymore.  They are dwindling down each day.

2.  We had a play date with my friend and her kiddos.  Miller thoroughly enjoyed himself.

       Thrilled that he can sit up unassisted and play with the fire truck.

Miller and Anna.  They were due on the same day, but since Miller came early he is a couple of months older.

The big boys disappeared for a minute and next thing we know, they come flying down the hall on the Thomas toy.  Boys!


3.  The train table at Barnes and Noble is pretty much Declan's favorite thing right now.  I have to drag him away kicking and screaming.

4. Miller went to the daycare at church for the first time during my Wednesday morning Bible study.  I was nervous about it but he did great.  Apparently he was having a blast because he fell asleep as soon as we got into the car.

5.  Keep Miller in your prayers next week.  He has to have a CT scan done at the children's hospital.  His twin brother, Lucas, had a vertebral abnormality so they want to make sure Miller doesn't have it as well.  Both his pediatrician and the neurologist think that he is fine and that he does not have a vertebral abnormality, but it is just a precaution.  He will have to be sedated, which makes me nervous.  So if you all could say a prayer for him on Thursday morning, it would be greatly appreciated!

Happy Friday!

10 months!

Miller is 10 months old today!  This month was a big one for him.  During this month, he has started sitting up on his own, is crawling pretty well, is consistently eating solids, got his first hair cut, and moved up to a big boy car seat (just a bigger one, he is still rear-facing and will be for a while).

Miller is weighing in just shy of 20 lbs.  He is 27 inches long.  He is wearing size 3 diapers, 12 month clothing, and size 3 shoes (yes, I finally bought the boy shoes!).

He was sleeping so well at night, and now we seem to have reverted back to waking up a few times during the night.  Naps are getting better though.

He still has 2 teeth on the bottom.  I'm guessing we will be seeing some top teeth soon because he is drooling so much and chewing on everything.

Eating yummy carrots in big brother's high chair.

We are all enjoying the nicer weather and love our daily walks.

Enjoying sitting in the highchair for dinner.

Swinging for the first time!

This little guy is such a joy!  I always say that God knew I needed this sweet boy in my life, especially after everything we've been through.  Both my boys here provide different healing aspects with their sweet personalities- Declan is so funny and makes me laugh even on my worst days and Miller is just so sweet!  I think he knows I need that so much right now.  Last night the boys were taking a bath together and I got so overwhelmingly sad and just thought, "There should be another one there."  It's a hard emotion to explain, to be ever so thankful for the children here and to be heartbroken for the one not here, both at the same time.

We love you, Miller James, and are so thankful for your precious life!

New Stroller

We recently purchased a new double stroller.  My friend Jenni had graciously given us a tandem double stroller when the twins were born, which is still in great condition and still used a lot.  I really wanted a lightweight side by side double stroller for walks and quick trips.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a researcher and list maker.  I'm sure Thomas was thrilled when I asked him to sit down and look at the compiled list of wants/needs for a double stroller.  After thorough research, we decided on this one.

Thomas picked the color.  I would have gone with the more basic black stroller, but it is a fun color.  And blue for boys.

I'm loving our new double!  It turns on a dime, folds ups length AND width wise, has amazing adjustable canopies, each separate seat reclines, 5 point harness, good storage, is surprisingly lightweight (for a double) and it cost less than $250 (which is no easy feat for a good double).

As you can see, Declan is ready to roll.  Side note, I don't let him stand on the stroller for fear of it tipping over on him.  He did this in the 3 seconds it took me to pick up Miller.  Other side note, please excuse the messy floor by the door.  Thomas tracks in so much dirt from work.   It drives me crazy!  I'm constantly sweeping and mopping that area.  We need a door mat.

My view of the boys from the top of the stroller.  They are so cute when they get along and aren't fighting :)

Five for Friday

1.  Happy Valentines Day!  I spent the day with my hubby and sweet sons.  I didn't take pictures of their Valentines Day baskets, but they got meal time themed gifts.  We needed some practical gift items.  Miller got some Gerber puffs, nice bibs, and his first sippy cups.  Declan got a new place mat, plates, sippy cup, and toddler silverware.  Thomas got some new pajamas and a robe.  And my boys got me a book, necklace, and some body wash and lotion from Bath & Body Works.

2.  I love the developing friendship between my boys.  They are getting to the age where they interact with each other a lot, sometimes in a good way and sometimes it's because they are fighting.  

Declan and Miller at dinner yesterday.  It was Miller's first time in a restaurant high chair.  He definitely enjoyed it more than sitting in his car seat. 

Riding in the shopping cart at Home Depot with Daddy.  I was at home cleaning and got this picture texted to me.  It made me smile so big!

3.  I finally got some new clothes!  Actually, we all did.  We all really needed some new clothes.  Miller hit a growth spurt and outgrew his 9 month clothing recently.  I got several pairs of pants and leggings, some shirts, a cardigan, and a new pair of shoes.  I hate shopping for clothes for me.  I'm super picky.  I'm all about comfort, first and foremost, and a lot of cute stuff just isn't comfy.  I had to force Thomas to buy some new clothes.  This man hasn't shopped for clothes since right after we got married almost 5 years ago.

4.  Speaking of clothing, I absolutely love smocked outfits and bubbles for little boys.  Unfortunately my taste in clothing for my sons doesn't match my budget.  They get special outfits for Easter, Christmas, and birthdays but I can't afford to dress them in $50-$75 outfits everyday.  So I was so excited when my good friend Sonya said she was working a consignment sale that has precious smocked outfits (new with tags!) for around $10!  Music to my ears!  I won't be in town for it, but I gave her some money to shop for me.

5.  And finally, the boys and I are taking a road trip with my mom.  It will be Miller's first trip out of town.  We are going to visit family about 8 hours away.  The boys are typically good travelers but Miller has never traveled that long and it's been a long time since Declan took a long trip.

Wednesday Randoms

99% of the time when I go to check on Miller during naptime, I find him halfway out of his shirt.  The little guy HATES long sleeves.  It's still pretty cold here so unfortunately he has to grin and bear it with the long sleeves for a little while longer.

I love it when the boys get along and play with each other.  This lasted about 2 seconds in the picture above.  Declan immediately tried to tackle Miller after I snapped this pic.  Boys.

Declan discovered the oven mitts and had a blast playing with them!  Silly little man.

Miller has become obsessed with the Thomas the Tank Engine toy that Declan got for Christmas.  The boys constantly fight over this prized toy.  Everytime Miller is on the floor, he makes a beeline for it.

Miller has started to hold my hand a lot lately.  I'm loving it!

Miller had two big (at least to me) milestones today- first time to eat Gerber puffs and first time to brush his teeth.  He loved the teeth brushing and hated the puffs.

Taking a picture with my littlest love before we went out to dinner.  I was going to try to get a pic with both boys but since my dad was here, Declan wanted nothing to do with me!  He loves his grandpa or Boppa, as he calls him!

Happy Wednesday!

Having kids so close together

I am often asked a lot of questions about having kids so close together in age.  So I thought I'd share some thoughts/things I've learned along the way.

The number one question I am asked is if I planned for them to be so close.  The honest answer is no, the twins were a surprise.  But a good, great, wonderful surprise!  Goes to show that Gods plans are bigger and better than mine!  My brother and I are 5 years apart in age so all I've ever known is a big age difference for siblings.  Both ways have pros and cons.

The number two question I am asked is how I do it.  I just had to figure it out.  The first few weeks with Miller home were the hardest as far as figuring out a routine.  Declan was newly mobile and into EVERYTHING and Miller was nursing.  That made for some interesting days during feedings for Miller.  But we figured it out.  And I quickly realized what a genius invention a pack and play was.

See?  Genius idea, those pack and plays.  We do try to reserve the times Declan is in it for times like when I feed Miller or cook dinner.  He likes his pack and play, but his tolerance maxes out after about 30 minutes in it.  And that's to be expected.  He is a toddler who likes to run around and explore.

I'd like to think that most days go smoothly without any bumps along the way.  However sometimes the reality of having two under two is this...

Meltdowns.  This particular one was because I wouldn't let Declan lick Miller.

I am a planner so that works out to my advantage, especially when it comes to outings.  I've learned to avoid eating times and nap times, as those tend to bring out meltdowns.  I keep a little basket it our car that has diapers, wipes, books, toys, and a change of clothes for each boy.  I keep our diaper bag stocked with snacks, drinks, bottles, toys, and teething stuff.

I keep a baby carrier/sling, a double stroller, and a single umbrella stroller in the car at all times.

The most important thing I've learned about outings with two littles is be prepared for anything, or at least as much as you can think of.  There's always going to be a wild card day, here and there, where nothing seems to go as planned.

Things are always much easier at home.  I have baby-proofed as much as possible.  I try to keep things picked up around the house to avoid having tempting things lying around (such as laptop or phone) that can easily be destroyed by toddler man.

People make jokes (and snide remarks) occasionally about how I will never sleep again or get to shower during the day or have time for myself.  I do sleep decently, I am usually showered and dressed before noon, and I have a little "me" time during the day to watch a TV show or surf the web.  I don't do those things like I did before, but it's not as bad as people make it out to be.

The best thing about have kids so close together?  By far, seeing their little brother relationship develop.  Any siblings can have a good relationship, regardless of age difference, but I am excited to see how their close age develops their relationship.

Never Once

I have listened to this song a lot lately.  My walk with God has experienced some high highs and low lows over this last year.  I won't pretend that I have always had faith, strength, and grace during these hard times.  There were times, and still are, that I was angry with God.  Angry that my son died.  Angry that he suffered so much while he was here.  Angry that I was robbed of the things that so many people take for granted with their children- robbed of ever seeing Lucas smile or laugh or walk or go to school or get married. 

I don't like admitting that I've felt these things and still feel them, but it is the honest truth.  Grief isn't pretty.  It's messy.  And hard.  And unpredictable.  Some days I think I will be doing OK, then anxiety and sadness sneak up on me.

But one thing I'm certain of is never once did I ever walk alone.

People would tell me to lean on God.  Some days I would fall on him, exhausted and overwhelmingly sad from missing my son.

And I will never have to walk alone on this unthinkable journey.  It's hard to find friends with whom I can talk to about Lucas.  Most people avoid the subject, either because they don't know what to say or because they say it "hits too close to home" for them.  It's like if they avoid the subject of the death of my child, they are shielding themselves from the thought or possibility of something happening to their children.  Sometimes, I don't blame them.  I would never wish this pain on anyone.  And I don't blame them for not wanting to taste even a fraction of my pain by talking about it.

But, for me, I need to talk about Lucas.  So I talk to God.  After all, God knows the very same pain of losing a child.

And I will see Lucas again someday.  I cling to that hope every day.  Until that day comes, I know I will never have to walk alone.

Surgery day

My Boo Bear had a successful surgery today. He had tubes put in his ears.  I was so nervous about it, but I prayed and felt a sense of peace today.  I know it's a simple procedure, but even simple procedures are a big deal when it's your baby.

We had to be at the surgery center at 6:30 am, so that meant waking up at 4:30 (ugh!) to get us and the boys ready, drop Miller off at my parents' house, and make the 30 minute drive out there.

We got there and got called back fairly quickly.  We dressed Declan in the gown, which he hated with a passion.  We actually ended up dressing him back in the clothes he wore there because he freaked out so much over the gown.  We talked to the super sweet nurse, who actually recently lost a preemie daughter.  We talked a lot about her daughter and shared Lucas' story.  The anesthesiologist came back to talk to us about what he would do (mask with anesthesia and oxygen, no IV) and then the ENT discussed the procedure with us.  Then he was off to surgery!

The surgery last about 15 minutes, which wasn't long at all, but felt like an eternity to us while we waited in the waiting room.  Then the ENT came out and said he did great and was on his way to the recovery room.

We got to the recovery room right after Declan did and he was freaking out.  He was crying and screaming and it broke my heart.  They said it was normal, but it was hard to see my son so upset.  He went back and forth between me and Thomas.  We stayed for about 45 minutes and then got sent home with some ear drops.

And now, a mere 7 hours after surgery, he is back to his normal wild self!  He is still a little clingy, but otherwise he is pretty much his normal self.

He has to have ear drops 3 times a day for 3 days.  And we can't let water get into his ears at bathtime.  We will be buying several pairs of ear plugs today.

I really hope the tubes help him.  I guess we will see if it decreases the amount of ear infections he gets.  Fingers crossed!

Life lately

Oh goodness, where do I begin? Life has been a bit hectic the last few days!

Miller man got fitted for his head shaping helmet. We got to the orthotics and prosthetics office and they warned us that children hate being fitted for the helmet. They said they always scream and cry, but not to worry.  Miller did great!  They put this thing over his head that looked like a piece of pantyhose and then they wrapped pieces of cloths around his head.  It reminded me of paper mache.  They left it on for a couple minutes and took it off before it hardened all the way.  It was interesting.  Miller didn't mind it at all, as you can see in the picture below.  He just smiled and laughed.  The office took a ton of pictures of their happiest helmet patient.  Now Declan, on the other hand, wasn't too sure of what they were doing to his baby brother.  The look on D's face is priceless!

The weather here has been terrible!  Coldest winter we've had in a long time.  We take advantage of the few nice days that come along and take trips to the park.  Declan loves the park now.  The bigger the slide, the better to him.  (I'll admit the big boy slides make me a bit nervous, but we always have 1 person with him at top and 1 at the bottom to catch him)

On the cold dreary days, we like to watch movies and play with the Radio Flyer wagon.

We cheered on the Seahawks during the Superbowl.  Thomas is from Washington and loves his Seahawks.  I sent this text to him when I asked Siri who won the Superbowl.

I've been reading Jesus Calling (and loving it!) and this one especially stuck out to me yesterday.  Yesterday morning Declan snuck a piece of waffle from breakfast and gave it to Miller without me seeing.  Miller started choking and I had to bend him over and pull the piece of waffle out of his throat.  Scared me silly.  I had a major meltdown and cried for hours.  My mom had to come over to help me calm down.  The thing that stuck out to me the most during the incident is that I was sitting right there beside them and it still happened.  We now have a new rule that Declan's hands and pockets must be checked before he leaves the table.

Lately jealousy has reared its ugly head here in our house.  I think now that Miller is sleeping less during the day and is crawling (yes, crawling!!), he is getting more attention from mommy.  And Declan doesn't like that one bit.  I spend a good portion of my day breaking up brother fights.  They are especially bad about fighting over one particular toy truck.

I spent some time last night giving extra attention to my first born baby.  He loved it.

Another park picture.  Miller loves swinging.  I can't wait until warmer weather so we can spend more time outside.  We are all getting cabin fever.

Keep Declan in your prayers tomorrow morning.  He is having tubes put in his ears.  I know it's a simple procedure, but that's my baby boy and I'm still nervous!